Experiment of life

Objective:
To cross the bottomless pit that leads straight to Hell.

Apparatus:
A single swinging rope hanging from an unknown part of the sky.

Theory:
At the bottom of the bottomless pit  😀  lies all manner of pain and ugliness. On the other side lies the closest thing one can find to happiness.

Note:For true happiness, one must give up one’s material possessions and live the life of a Buddhist monk with a shaved head, dressed in a saffron rag in a mud hut bang in the middle of the Siachen glacier.

Procedure:
1. Pray a little before you begin.
2. Stand 10 feet from the ledge of the bottomless pit.
3. Wait for the swinging rope to come as possible to the edge of the abyss.
4. Take a running leap and grab hold of the oscillating rope just as it begins to swing back to wherever the hell it came from.
5. Ride it safely to the other side.

Result:
Happiness and satisfaction…or the closest one can get to it without actually giving up one’s Ferrari (see theory).

Precautions:
1. Time your leap such that you don’t drop into the abyss thereby sentencing yourself to burn for all eternity.
2. Do nothing to stimulate the sweat glands during the duration of the journey.
3. Do NOT look down or to the northeast.

Note: To the northeast lies the entire cast of Bay watch Hawaii.

Sources of Error:
1. One may make the mistake of reading this experiment.