Thank you… ‘friends’

Posted May 31, 2008 by Prarthana
Categories: Frustration

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If someone had asked me who my freinds were, say around a year back, my list would have been endless!! I could just go on and on…
Now… err….
*ahem*

I wonder: what the bloody hell is wrong with me….
Is it that I can’t manage to get along with anybody?

Some of them just go on and on about the fact that I did not go and meet them when I was in Dubai!!
Well folks, If you can’t take the trouble of coming to a small get-together that I had particularly arranged so I can get to meet you all, I am extremely sorry I couldn’t take out time from the mere two weeks that I was there for…

And yeah… why do some of my other ‘friends’ avoid me??
No, really guys… If you cant’t stand me, I’d rather you say it on my face, than you keep dodging me!!
If you don’t want me around, you might as well let me know….

And really would you call a person who laughs behind your back and bitches about you, your friend? I don’t have to be ‘cool’ and awesome at studies or sports for you to be my friend!!
” Oh, yeah… She’s awful!! Can’t even HIT the ball!!
And she barely manages to pass…. Sheesh”
Yeah, all of you know me better than I know myself…
Thank you for letting me know who I really am!!

The dark fury of anger,
closes my mind to reason.
all around i can see,
hatred, revenge & treason.
The blinding rage has shut my eyes,
my mind resounds with screams & cries;
I do not wait
I retaliate
Burn down the world to ashes
till smoke emanates!

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Now is the moment

Posted May 28, 2008 by Prarthana
Categories: Just random thoughts

Tags: ,

 

Run across the horizon,
climb upto the pinnacle
Dive into the deepest oceans
be your own oracle
Stretch limits till they break
jump over every obstacle
Live to eternity in everysecond that is spent,
‘coz now is the moment
Delve deep into the hearts
and ease out some pain
Breathe life into dreams
don’t let them go in vain
Plant hopes in deserts
and wait for the rain
Look into the face of difficulties
and dare them to come up again
Rise up with the tides
and swim against the current
‘coz now is the moment
Now is the moment
you’d been waiting for
Now is the moment
you’re better than ever
Now is the moment
to takethe first step
Now is the moment
to write the first chapter
Now is the moment
It is now or never.

The real world

Posted April 24, 2008 by Prarthana
Categories: Just random thoughts, My perceptions

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Sometimes it seems as if we always live in virtual reality, assuming things and hoping for something to happen or waiting for something to happen. Wait is always not bad, but it sure becomes the worst when the wait only ends up as a big failure.

It gets interesting how different people console you, but I was really surprised on how many people use the age old, most used saying – “Everything happens for your own good.” Sometimes it gets so annoying that I feel like hitting the consoler, but I know he wishes the best for me.

To be frank I was a pretty big believer in that saying and started looking at things differently, and true enough things turned out good. I was delighted and used the same saying to console others. But now when I sit and think about it, I realize everything happens as it should. We compromise saying to ourselves, everything happens for our own good. Something good happens and you say to yourself only because that bad happened earlier I am in this position, Aha, the saying is true. But after a few days bad repeats itself and the whole cycle repeats itself.

Will the cycle change if you stop thinking positive? May be… But I don’t’ get the point. Lets not think positive, lets think confident. Bad happened and it is definitely bad, so feel bad. Good happened, feel good. Enjoy it. There is nothing that defines positive nature. Do you think people who boast about their positive nature don’t even have a pinch of doubt and anxiety, they sure do.

Sometimes it also seems being negative is better. If you are never confident of success, you always hope for the worst and even if it turns a little good you are happy. Its better than bragging about your positive nature and confidence and finally losing miserably and becoming the laughing stock.I made many a mistake in haste or in pride, I only wish I don’t make many more. Zero more mistakes is an impossible ask, None can ever achieve it, but high goals can help.

The Paper Princess

Posted April 12, 2008 by Prarthana
Categories: Ultimate weirdness

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Once upon a time, there was the Paper King.

He had a sheaf of daughters, all very pretty and white. He had so many of them that he just named them One, Two, Three, and so on. His favourite was the youngest, whom he called Theend.

One day, their old yellowed and crinkled aunt took the Paper King to task.

“Aren’t you going to get your daughters married? It’s about time. I can see the first one growing almost as yellow and crinkly as me! Do something before it’s too late!”

The Paper King was upset that his nap was disrupted so rudely – his back hurt all the time and he could barely stand straight by himself. However, he did see the point his sister was trying to make. He sent out all the pages to announce the search for suitable grooms.

The first groom to arrive was the Paintbrush. He was very proud of his thick hair, and his vibrant colours.

“Call me the Camel”, he said, preening vainly.

Princess One fell head over heels in love with him.

“Oooh! I love the way his hair tickles me all over!” she cooed.

The Paintbrush insisted that he give her a makeover, and dressed her in his family colours before the wedding. Princess One made no protest that she had to change so completely to marry him.

The second groom to arrive was Crayola the Crayon.

He was a flaky chap – on first sight, he appeared very sharp and handsome, but as you got to know him, you realized he was quite blunt and boring. His behaviour was rather patchy, but Princess Two was completely taken by him.

“Ooooh! I love the way he rubs me all over!” she cooed.

The Crayon too lost no time in given Princess Two a complete makeover, but she did not protest a bit.

The next to arrive was Prince Parker the Pen. He was very smartly dressed in a blue and silver armor, and had a very sharp nose. Princess Three was completely bowled over by him.

“Ooooh! I love the way he teases me all over!” she cooed.

Prince Parker then insisted that Princess Three change according to his whims, and she did not protest.

Theend watched all her sisters getting married thus, changing so drastically that they no longer remained what they were earlier.

“What about you, my child?”, the Paper King asked her fondly.

“My time has not yet come, Papa”, she replied cheerfully.

She waited by her window everyday, seeking the one she would marry.

Finally, the Pencil, came along. He was a brave and cheerful fellow, who soldiered on inspite of having to carry a burden as heavy as lead. He was dressed in red and black, and went by the name of common name of Nataraj.

“Papa, this is the one I wish to marry!” Theend declared.

“Him?” The Paper King was taken aback.

“But why, you could have anyone you pleased?

”“Papa, I love him because he will let me be myself!”

The Paper King had no choice but to consent.

Theend and Nataraj were married and they lived to a ripe old age, till they both disintegrated.

A new day, everyday

Posted April 1, 2008 by Prarthana
Categories: My perceptions

Tags:

Wouldn’t it be nice,
if every new day,
we were really reborn ?
If the innocence lost the previous day were restored ?
if we could continue believing in our dreams,
keeping the faith,
without any of it
marred by the disillusionments of the previous day ?
If we could write off all the faults committed before,
even if it meant that we would probably repeat them ?
Wouldn’t our conscience then be the pink
like that of a newborn baby’s feet ?
so tender,
so untouched,
so unscarred by the abrasive world.
Pink as only purity can be ?
as only freshness can be?

The Tag

Posted March 13, 2008 by Prarthana
Categories: Ultimate weirdness

Tags: ,

People have asked me to do this ‘about me’ tag….

So here goes!!

Ten things you wish you could say to people right now (don’t take names)

1. I miss you, I wish you were here with me!!

2. Please leave me alone, I can do things by myself…

3. I do get serious when it really does matter.

4. What are you saying? I do not watch T.V or use the computer for more than half an hour a day!!

5. Don’t I deserve a chance to prove myself?

6. Hey, things will become okay!!

7. Don’t breathe down my neck

8. I love you

9. Lets go out for an ice-cream

10. Why dont I get a break from doing physics, chem or math??

Nine things about yourself

1. I am a very sensitive person, but on the outlook I act bonkers!!

2. I love music, books and tennis and I consider them an integral part of my life

3. I can get into a temper tantrum over the smallest of things to the annoyance of pepole around me. ( u’d have to know me well to identify my mood swings!!) P

4. I cannot imagine myself to survive even for a day, without someone to talk to!!

5. Chocolates and ice-cream can really get me going

6. I kick, roll and talk in my sleep….

7. I can’t stand people instructing me 24/7

8. I can adjust to anything new, pretty quickly

Eight ways to win your heart

1. Get me a bar of chocolate or an ice-cream

2. Act as a chatter box, to accompany me!!

3. Understand my mood swings

4. Do not nag me and keep telling me what to do

5. Be un-conventional

6. Read and post comments on my blog!! 🙂

7. Be open- minded

8. Be there when I truly need you.

Seven things that cross your mind a lot
1. Going back home to dubai
2. Holidays!!
3. Why are my results always so pathetic?
4. Why does CBSE have to be so hard? (or maybe just Kumarans!!)
5. When I’d be able to ride a bike!!
6. When I’d get to meet Rahul Dravid.. 😛
7. My next visit to Samarthanam.

Six things you wish you never did
1. Taken grade 11 for granted and fared miserably!! 😦
2. Yelled at people close to me for no fault of theirs.
3. Gotten all worked up nd cried over trivial issue, all to myself…
4. Let various opportunities, just go by!!
5. Done anything to let my parents down.
6. Been naive and let people take advantage of me!!

Five Turn offs
1. Bitching about people behind their backs
2. People not looking at me when being talked to
3. Show- off’s
4. Pessimissim
5. People trying to be something they aren’t!!

Four turn on’s
1. People being frank
2. Being open-minded
3. People full of energy,always ready for something
4. Wit

Three things you want to do before you die
1. Prove that I am am worth a lot!!
2. Organise a programme exclusively for children with special needs to display their talents!!
3. Bungee jumping

Two smileys that describe you
:D, 😛
One confession
I love dancing to myself!! 😛

I tag Kadambari, Priya, Aditi, Poorna, Abhishek…
Really, its a lot of fun!! 🙂

Numb

Posted March 10, 2008 by Prarthana
Categories: Frustration

Tags:

Numb.
For the past four to five months she had been feeling lifeless. Not that nothing was happening in her life. So much was happening that it had started to numb her senses and her completely. She could no longer talk even the sparing words she used to manage. Her answer to everyone’s every question was a mere smile. The smile, that didn’t give out what was going on inside her. Her expressionless face had always been such a boon. An irony in life.
Few who had noticed the recluse who had become an absolute recluse, who asked her to spill her mind out, telling her that keeping things to herself will only add to the built up whatever it was. But, what was she to say?…that nothing was going on in her mind…that her thoughts had gone blank. To everyone she seemed detached but to herself she was numb, more like lifeless…dead. All she could do was stare at the void space which seemed to surround her like a blanket.
She couldn’t express anything at all. She had become numb. Numb to herself and the things that affected her. She watched everything happening to her as though it were a mere movie. Movies never affected her, not even the most emotional and dramatic ones. So she stood there watching everything that was happening to her, like it was all happening to a complete stranger on a movie. Like it didn’t affect her…like it was not her life. She couldn’t feel the happiness when she heard the good news. She couldn’t feel any of her disappointments. She had become numb. When her grandpa whom she loved dearly had passed away, she was too numb even to feel sad. Not even a single tiny little drop of tear. She wondered…was she dead too? The hollow space which she felt inside her was only widening, creating a complete vacuum.
She wanted to shake herself awake. Shake her numbness away, just like the dog which shakes away all the water after it has had its bath. She stood there shaking, just to realize that all the vigorous shaking, in a hope to get back her life was only tiring. Nothing left her or creeped in. She felt numb. Numb, as she waited for it to pass away. Something she had always believed in. She would pass this phase too. Now, all she could do was wait and stare at the void space which seemed to surround her like a blanket.
Numb.