For the past four to five months she had been feeling lifeless. Not that nothing was happening in her life. So much was happening that it had started to numb her senses and her completely. She could no longer talk even the sparing words she used to manage. Her answer to everyone’s every question was a mere smile. The smile, that didn’t give out what was going on inside her. Her expressionless face had always been such a boon. An irony in life.
Few who had noticed the recluse who had become an absolute recluse, who asked her to spill her mind out, telling her that keeping things to herself will only add to the built up whatever it was. But, what was she to say?…that nothing was going on in her mind…that her thoughts had gone blank. To everyone she seemed detached but to herself she was numb, more like lifeless…dead. All she could do was stare at the void space which seemed to surround her like a blanket.
She couldn’t express anything at all. She had become numb. Numb to herself and the things that affected her. She watched everything happening to her as though it were a mere movie. Movies never affected her, not even the most emotional and dramatic ones. So she stood there watching everything that was happening to her, like it was all happening to a complete stranger on a movie. Like it didn’t affect her…like it was not her life. She couldn’t feel the happiness when she heard the good news. She couldn’t feel any of her disappointments. She had become numb. When her grandpa whom she loved dearly had passed away, she was too numb even to feel sad. Not even a single tiny little drop of tear. She wondered…was she dead too? The hollow space which she felt inside her was only widening, creating a complete vacuum.
She wanted to shake herself awake. Shake her numbness away, just like the dog which shakes away all the water after it has had its bath. She stood there shaking, just to realize that all the vigorous shaking, in a hope to get back her life was only tiring. Nothing left her or creeped in. She felt numb. Numb, as she waited for it to pass away. Something she had always believed in. She would pass this phase too. Now, all she could do was wait and stare at the void space which seemed to surround her like a blanket.


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9 Comments on “Numb”

  1. Niveditha Sunderraj Says:

    I sincerely hope it’s not about yourself!
    You’re really good at this descriptive stuff!
    Keep it up.
    Btw I tagged you, check it out, and try to do it!

  2. Prarthana Ravishankar Says:

    No.. Its not about myself..
    Its a piece I’ve been meaning to write for long…
    Started when everything around me was starting to change!!

  3. priya Says:

    Hmm…I always wonder after reading your posts – “Whats on your mind?”.
    Right now, all I can think of is Linkin Park !! 😀
    I lovee that song !! Lol. Cheers !
    Keep writing, I’ll keep guessing what it is related to ! 😛

  4. Prarthana Ravishankar Says:

    @ priya
    Hmmmmm…. 😛

  5. kaddu Says:

    Wonderful piece of work!!! But, I sincerely hope u r telling the truth when u say its not abt u. I must say that your writing is in complete contrast to who u r in person…..don worry….I still think both these dimensions of urs are awesome!!!!

  6. Prarthana Ravishankar Says:

    Do you possibly thnk tht I could be so depressed?? Having known me for a year now??

  7. kaddu Says:

    dunno…..u have a hectic life…..but ok….I’m pretty sure it’s ur literary skills n nothing else….but u r exactly the opposite of everything in that post….she couldn’t speak…, that I’m sure u won’t do!!!!

  8. artisticked Says:

    Awesome stuff and this post makes me remember a song of pink floyd ……!!……So i’m dedicating it for this stuff….here we go….!!

    Is there anybody in there?
    Just nod if you can hear me.
    Is there anyone home?

    Come on, now.
    I hear youre feeling down.
    Well I can ease your pain,
    Get you on your feet again.

    I need some information first.
    Just the basic facts:
    Can you show me where it hurts?

    There is no pain, you are receding.
    A distant ships smoke on the horizon.
    You are only coming through in waves.
    Your lips move but I cant hear what youre sayin.
    When I was a child I had a fever.
    My hands felt just like two balloons.
    Now I got that feeling once again.
    I cant explain, you would not understand.
    This is not how I am.
    I have become comfortably numb.

    Just a little pinprick. [ping]
    Therell be no more –aaaaaahhhhh!
    But you may feel a little sick.

    Can you stand up?
    I do believe its working. good.
    Thatll keep you going for the show.
    Come on its time to go.

    There is no pain, you are receding.
    A distant ships smoke on the horizon.
    You are only coming through in waves.
    Your lips move but I cant hear what youre sayin.
    When I was a child I caught a fleeting glimpse,
    Out of the corner of my eye.
    I turned to look but it was gone.
    I cannot put my finger on it now.
    The child is grown, the dream is gone.
    I have become comfortably numb.

    ::: Pink Floyd ::: Comfortably Numb Lyrics :::

  9. Prarthana Says:

    @ artisticked
    Thank you!!
    And I love this Pink Floyd number…. Its such a beautiful song!! 🙂

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